HI. My name is Courtney. Recently my girlfriends and I had a girls night out. On Feb. 2, 2008 someone decided to put something in my drink. Luckily my husband came to pick up my friend and I. Waking up Sunday morning with no recolection was the scariest feeling in the world. My husband Kevin filled me in on the details of the night before. I was out of control. I was falling all over the place, and could not stand up on my own. Monday morning we went to the police station to file a report. The police officer I met with thought maybe I just had a "bug". She wanted for me to have blood work done before she filed a criminal report. I went to Next Care to get blood work, after waiting for an hour they told me that they did not have the tools for that kind of testing. My next stop was Mediac. When I called them they said we do drug testing come on in. I went in, and then they changed their minds, and said they were not set up to do that kind of testing. The next morning I called my primary care doctor, where they told me they would not have enough time to do the tests. With out the blood work, I had no evidence to bring to the police, therefore, no police report. My biggest problem with this whole situation is the what if's. What if I was raped...or murdered, or both. I want to make sure the what if's do not happen to someone else. If one person hears my story, and are more aware of what can happen to them when they go out, I will feel better. Hopefully this blog will inspire you to blog about your experiences, and together we can change the way this kind of horrible situation is handled. If there is anything that I can personally do to help, I will. Thank you for reading my story, and please share yours.
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27 comments:
Back in Nov. I was also drugged, I had all the same symptoms that Courtney did. I was out with a group of women celebrating a friends birthday and somehow someone slipped me something. I was lucky though and made it home safely. I now never go out downtown with a group of girls without at least one male with us. I wish I had been tested and reported it, I was just too sick to get out of bed and do anything about it while the drugs were still in my system. I did tell my family doctor and she said that it is very common in wilmington these days. Shame on those men who can't meet a woman without drugging her!
It isn't just a crime against women. My son was Roofied in an upscale bar in Boston and raped. He woke up in an empty apt in a different section of Boston and has no recollection of how he got there or who raped him. He wouldn't report it and has shown symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder since then. He is refusing counseling but luckily he has tested negative for any STDs and he wasn't killed. The key is his "friends" left him at the bar drunk. So do not go out or stay out drinking by yourself and of course NEVER leave your drink on the bar.
Hi Courtney. I was drugged while in Myrtle Beach, SC with my husband one night. I left my drink (the ONLY one of the evening) on a table to go to the restroom. My husband was talking to someone and not watching my drink.
I came back from the restroom, finished my drink and we headed to Wal-Mart to pick up dogfood and such. Well, while in Wal-Mart, I started staggering and knocking things over. It was all I could do to even stand up. I fell several times on the way back to the car. While in the car I started slapping my husband for no reason at all. I was out of control. And this was after having ONE drink. I think not. I KNOW someone drugged me. I've had much, much more to drink than that and not ever behaved in that manner.
While being raped is a concern, my biggest concern was that they could have put something LETHAL in my drink. I have two children. I have drank very rarely since then. It scared me. And it still does. What if I hadn't woken up from that???????
THank you so much for sharing your story. Here are some websites to find local Rape Crisis Centers across the country. www.rainn.org
North Carolina www.nccasa.org
What a normalizing experience to read your blog. Thank you for writing it. This also happened to me....out with friends and a few drinks later, I was out of control and dropping things. My husband carried me out of the bar over his shoulder to prevent anything worse from happening. That night, he had sex with me, and I have no recollection of it at all. At some point I wandered out of the room and went walking around town - unable to get back to where I'd started. I was looking for my purse. Who knows what could have happened to me while wandering around.
Still, even though I know that the events of the night were inconsistent with my drinking history, my husband and others just think I had too much to drink. He worries about "what could have happened" to me since I'd gotten "so drunk" and didn't remember sex with him. I've accepted that analysis publicly because I don't want to be seen as "making excuses for my behavior" that night...especially because I work in the sexual violence field and it seems a "convenient" explanation...but in my heart, I have felt alone in knowing that what happened that night just wasn't right.
i was at a bar called rackems one night in university landing drinking with my girlfriend and some guys we met shooting pool well i went to the rest room and came back thats when i no now how i got raped by 5 guys in the alley behind rackems .it was a horrible experience one i just have vivid memories of trying to remember the slighest detail of a face or a voice it is to traumatic for me i woke up the next morning with my clothes off lying in the woods with a big hangover i finally gathered my senses and then i realized i was raped unknowingly there were 5 different set of footprints around were it happened the police are still looking for the suspects im still scared and have traumatic stress from this its all i can do to lead a normal life i have never drank since that night my friends ask why i quit drinking and going out i told them i had a religious experience that changed my life .i have never told my boyfriend what happened i dont want him to feel the pain or burden of what happened were getting married soon .courtney thanks for your support god bless you
Way to go, Courtney! I want to applaud you and your husband for speaking publicly and putting a face on this very important issue. To all the other posters - thanks for sharing YOUR story, and also the RAINN and NCCASA links. Support and believe the survivors you know, and support your local rape crisis center with your time and $! http://www.voicesofmen.org
I am a female i was downtown wilmington with my best friend and i was driving my car we thought it would be fun to go to a bar and have a few drinks iwas 21 and wanted to break in my drinking priviliges i had earned from my age well that night has turned into the worst horrible disaster of my life .we went to a bar and had a few drinks and danced and joked as usual i only had 2 beers but i no now someone slipped me a mickey when we left the bar i drove around and was losing contact with reality hearing voices and halucinating the next thing i no we were in a very horrible wreck and i had killed a young man whom was very loved and adored i am very shamefull of this and i cry everyday the police thought that i had just had too much to drink it was too late too tell them that i was slipped a mickey and no toxicology test were run .just a breathlizer and blood alcohol level .i have thought of suicide many times but my doctor and mental health workers are helping me manage through it .i wish i could change that night i have begged god many times for an answer why this happened too me .all i can do is pray and hope things get better .thanks courtney
one night i was out having some drinks at the sand bar ,the music was going and i was dancing and having a few drinks ,a older guy with a beard introduced himself and he bought me a drink i accepted yes i accepted the worst misery i have ever experinced ever ,i no he slipped something in my drink when he was on his way back from the bar , i woke up in and out of his rape he was on top of me i could not wake up all the way and help my self i was in a coma just lying there help less as he had his way with me i remember his beard scratching me and those large moles and bumpbs on his nose and face, his bogers were flying on my face and his slober also his breath stunk really bad and he was very over weight , finally when i woken in a ditch down a long dirt road with no clothes i had to walk 5 miles to the nearst house and cry for help .the police have still not found this guy and i have to live with the night mares and post traumatic stress from this .
I am very glad this website is here...just last night I went out to the bar with a friend and I had 4 drinks. My 4th one, I was dancing and a guy starting dancing with me with my drink still in my hand. I remember the next maybe 10 minutes. All of a sudden, I wake up this morning completly naked next to this guy. I have cuts on my arm from a broken mirror, my stereo was pushed over and there was blood from my arm on my couch and in the hallway. This may be too much info, but my boobs hurt so bad I can't even wear a shirt. The southern region feels like a huge bruise. I don't remember anything. Nothing. Even when I drink to really party, I have never had this happen. I threw up today and I didn't go to work because I feel like a semi hit me. I talked to a couple friends this morning on the phone and don't remember our convo. From the research I have done today, it seems to be too late to get a test for it. Regardless, I know that's what happened and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. I appreciate this site so much, I finally got it off my chest. Thank you so much Courtney for standing up and doing something to make a difference.
I'm scared...about 3 weeks ago I went out with my sister in law for a couple of drinks. The last thing I remember is sitting at a table with some friends and then the next morning waking up on my couch. My sister in law put me in a cab thinking that I was just impaired but the next day I could not get out of bed and was throwing up all day. She than told me that she heard some guys talking about GHB at the bar that we were at. Now I'm late for my period and I don't know what happened in that cab ride home!!!!
I was drugged, I think. That is the worst part - not knowing for sure. I an happily married but a big flirt - always have been - but never used getting drunk as an excuse to have sex. I was always much more likely to say no after drinking than sober because I never wanted to make an impaired decision.
Well, the other night when I was on the "girls night out" at my husband and I's local hang out, a guy I kind of know - also a regular - was in there and the minute he showed up is the last thing I remember other than being with him out in the parking lot and him asking me to come to his place and me saying "no". However, when I got home at 3:00am my husband yelling at me that we were getting divorce penatrated the fog around me and I kept saying "what, what, what" - I didn't realize I had just gotten home. My car was wreck and I don't remember it. This is the second time I have blackedout after he has shown up. The first time - he walked me out but someone in the parking lot interupted him so he didn't get what he wanted. This time I don't think he was able to again because I am very strong willed about not having sex impaired, but I think he fingered me or has a fenum (spelling) because I had blood in my underwear (excuse the crudeness here) and was sore like but not "a lot of sex" sore, it was more like a fingering with a hang nail sore and my bra was undone. The next day I couldn't eat and just felt weak all day but with a racing heart of something. This is killing me because it could be the undoing of my marriage and I never agreed to it, anticipated it or solicited it. I just happened to be out and be a big flirt. I feel targeted and like the guy thought it was ok because I am such a flirt. I love my husband and my children. My son woke up and cried at me and said "Daddy left because you made him".
I hate this because I can't prove it. If I confront the guy, he is just going to say I was a slut and can't handle my alcohol. I would love to ask him if we had sex though so I could at least honestly relay what happened to my husband. Right now I can't tell him where I was because I don't remember.
I have a real problem with the fact that husbands would elect to have sex with their wives while they were literally falling all over everything, dropping stuff, etc. In my opinion, that's just as much rape as any "undrunk", forced encounter. I mean, your wife can't remember...? Don't act stupid, you just knew you could get it easy that night. Sorry, been there. It makes me furious. Any man who cares about a woman would want her to be conscious! ~ I digress. Was in college, had a few glasses of wine with dinner, then hopped in the car with the guy, popped open a bottle of Cisco (do they still sell that stuff?) half way through, I'm in the bathroom throwing up my guts, falling all over. The rest is a vague memory, but i do remember waking up with him on top and inside me in this hotel room. When he was done, I faked being unconscious still. He left for something. I ran. He freaked and ran to everyone we personally knew and proceed to smear my name as a tramp. They loved him, so no one believe me that he would do such a thing. Hmmmm. Went looking for better friends thereafter...Ladies, never, never, never let your drink leave your site. Just don't. I don't care who it is. If your husband will do you while your completely lit, then i wouldn't trust him either.
I too know I was slipped something. This happened on 2/16 at club Mansion in Miami. It was pretty early for Miami, about 11 PM and the club was still very quiet. I was there with my fiancé (at the time) and other friends, but I went up to the bar by myself. I admit I was drinking that night, and had a few drinks, but I know this was not just alcohol. The last thing I remember was a man with reddish/brown hair and a Hawaiian shirt came up and stood next to me at the bar and proceeded to make small talk. He seemed nice enough and so I chatted with him for a few minutes. The last thing I remember was him asking where I was from, and then it was like a curtain fell and I don't remember a thing. I woke up in a panic, very confused and scared and feeling like I couldn't breathe. I don't recall anything that happened after talking to that strange guy, but am told by my friends and ex-fiancé that I was letting this guy in the Hawaiian shirt hang all over me and kiss me which is COMPLETELY out of character for me. They said that I also became belligerent and that I screamed at our friends, and then collapsed to the floor. 2 bouncers carried me out to a back room or something where the police came and were going to take me to jail! I guess my friends signed something saying they would be responsible for me and the police agreed to let me go.
I don't remember any of this!! I am only writing what I was told happened. It was a horrible feeling waking up and not knowing what happened to me. I still have nightmares about it. The next day, I had bruises all over my arms and legs and would guess they were from falling down. I am fairly confident I wasn't sexually assaulted or anything, but not knowing for sure I would have to say it was the worst thing I had ever been through. For days I was paranoid and afraid to leave the house to go anywhere. To make things worse, my fiancé at the time did not believe that I had been slipped anything, and wouldn't speak to me for weeks because of the way I behaved that night. We broke up after this happened, but I can say it was never going to work anyway. It was one of the worst experiences I have ever gone through. I am so careful now when I go out, I watch even the bartenders that are making the drinks. The fact that something can deem you so helpless is horrifying
Hi im writing from Denmark. I have also been drug raped 5 years back. I was out with some girlfriends when i guy passed us up in a bar street, at 5 am. He asked me if i was the ex-girlfriend of one of his friends, and i said yes. He then told me that my eks was showing for at afterparty at his place, he even took his phone to his ear pretending he was talking to my eks. I trusted that and we went along. I remember getting very drunk at the afterparty and i couldent stand on my feet, bumping in to the stereo and the wall. I rembember i kissed him,and i rember 2 f my friends trying to get me home. The 3 one (no onger a friend of mind) slamed the door on them and they went home, and then i went blank. I woke up the next day while he was having sex with me i couldent move, and i was confused. I was late for picking up my child at her fathers family,so i called for a cab and went. I got pregnant from the insident, and had an abortion. Untill recently i couldent figure out why my life situation has beeen so down the past years, i cant hold a normal job, and prefers working alone. Now im getting flashbacks and it makes me is feel angry and hurt. My family cant understand me and tells me to move on with my life.
thank you so muck for making a forum where i can reflect into what is read , and deal with the stress and guild that i have been feeling ever since this happend.
Hi Courtney,
I have never had my drink spiked but my sister has a number of times. She said it's always been noticeable when she developes symptoms of drunkeness very quickly after only 1 drink, trouble remembering information, feeling of walking on air then blackouts. My sister's has a couple of near-miss incidents when been spiken, until the most recent (2 days ago) spiking resulting in what the drug was intended for...
I'm so grateful for you creating this blog and fully support this cause. Obviously my feelings are very raw at the moment, but that wouldn't change my opinion about this horrible, horrible crime.
I wish all past victims the best of love and support.
Thank you for sharing all of your stories. Hopefully this forum has helped some what. Sometimes, it is just nice to be able to vent online with people who have been through similar situations. It is horrible how many times this happens with out being reported, and the worst part is, when people do report this horrific crime, they can't prove who has done it. I hope everyone will watch their drinks, but mostly I hope the sick, perverted people who actually commit this crime will get their punishment, and hopefully they will get help for their problems. -Courtney
I know it's been a while since this happened to you. I have never been drugged and I can not imagine the feeling of being so frightened. My sister was out on Friday, at Tempe Marketplace in Arizona with a girlfriend. She was drugged. I thank god that she left the bar when she did, but she has no memory of the night, only that she remembers not being able to talk or move. This has got to stop!
I was also drugged in a bar in Carolina Beach late last year. I went out for dinner and a few beers by myself. It was early - around 6:30 or 7:00 pm. I was playing trivia and had a couple of beers before leaving. I remember being really drunk all of a sudden so I went home. I don't remember anything after leaving the bar, but luckily I made it home. I NEVER black out and that was scary. The next morning I couldn't wake up to go to work. I definitely felt drugged. I didn't wake up until 2:00 pm, and even then felt really groggy. I will never go out alone again, even for dinner. It is sad that we can't even enjoy a dinner alone. I didn't even stay that long. I was home by 8:30 pm because my roommate was home.
I've never been raped or molested in my life. I don't even live in an abusive life. At least not literally. I'm fourteen years old and I am a virgin having no boyfriend ever in my life...I hope to keep it that way at least until college. The problem with me I feel I am the only one that has it. I'm not physically raped, but I am in my head. I have horrible nightmares about it, and sometimes they don't even come at night but during the day...like daydreaming...but about rape. I don't care what you say, about women that dream about rape "want to be sexually overpowered but not hurt", well that's not me. That's what Satan wants me to think, and I know I think about that type of stuff because he's battling with me to leave Christ. Yes, I am a Christian, I struggle to be one. It's not so easy now that I'm a Freshman in High School. All through my elemantary and middle school years I was in the same Christian school. Guys were friendly, but a normal friendly. Nothing was weird. But I always did have bad thoughts...they seem to worsen throughout the years. I just knew i needed to get that out, because it's been eating me up inside. I've read rape stories and seen how lucky I am. I hope I'll never have to experience anything like that but I know that 1 in 4 women get raped these days. If it were between me and my friends, I'd chose for me to. I just don't know how strong I'd be if I was every betrayed...I know I'd be strong for a friend...but I don't know...for myself. I just want others to know out there that you have to let out how you feel. I don't believe anyone is like me, but I may be wrong. Just don't forget that you are here for a purpose, and you're not trash. You don't deserve to be ruined. You deserve to live and love your life. And I deserve to find the perfect husband that will care for me and protect me. In Jesus name, I leave.
My adult daughter was drugged and raped several months ago. She was in her own home and was drugged and raped by 3 men. All three of the men were longtime family friends, one was a blood relation. They were putting her yard in and were living in her basement while they worked for her because they had no place else to live. They had been there for 2 months. They asked her to have a drink with them. They gave her a beer - which was already open and not full. She drank just that one 3/4 full beer. She remembers feeling very drunk and the last thing she remembers is falling down. She has absolutely no memory of the next 8 hours after that. Her 2 little girls were asleep in their rooms. She awoke naked in her own bed which was littered with condoms. She asked her cousin what had happened and he gleefully related explicit details, insisting that she consented and participated. Most of the next day she was disoriented. She was unable to care for her children. Late the next evening she connected all the dots, realizing she had been raped. She asked me to accompany her to the emergency room. The urine test came back negative for drugs. The blood work was botched. We went so far as to have her hair tested 6 weeks later to try to prove that she was drugged. The hair test came back positive for GHB, but not at a high enough level to indicate a date rape drug. The police insisted that she had partied with the 3 men and then been embarrassed and claimed rape to cover her consent. Of course, if she had done something she wanted to cover up, her first reaction would not have been to call her parents for help. If she had not told us, we would never have known. The legal system victimized her all over again.
We're sure she was drugged. The hospital exam proved extreme vaginal trauma. The 3 men are merrily continuing their depraved ways. How can date rape drugs be proven? How can we bring our legal system into the 21st century? btw - this occurred in the state of Utah. We, as 1000's before us can only continue our lives and live with what happened. The worst part is knowing that drug assisted rape is so difficult to prosecute. Date rape drugs practically give rapists 'carte blanche'.
I don't know if anyone still reads this but I have a serious problem. I went out last Sat. with the girls. I don't know what exactly was put into my drink but suddenly I lost my friends and was really disoriented. My first thought, thanks to the media coverage, was that my drink had been drugged so I went straight to the bar staff-bouncers and owner. I could not communicate the problem. They made me leave the bar and I went outside. Somehow I managed to get a text to my boyfriend that just said my location and "please come now", but it was misspelled. The next thing I remember is the relief of seeing a police officer and being happy that they were arresting me. It was the scariest thing in my life!
Now my problem is that I am charged with criminal tresspass for not leaving the property when the bar staff told me to. Does anyone know of any defense to this charge? I am trying to get into law school by the end of the year and cannot afford to have a charge like this.
Any organizations that might be active in Oregon? I really don't know what to do. I am a full time student and cannot afford an attourney. Because of my education so far I know that a public defender will have me plead guilty just to get it off the docket.
Why aren't there any laws that protect people in this type of situation?
If you know your drugged and feel vulnerable, what can you do when you don't recognize anyone? Don't go to the bar staff.
I was drugged in 2001 in San Francisco. I was at a bar with a male friend and another male drugged both of us. I was raped, strangled and robbed of my belongings. I went to a trama rape recovery center 3 days later. Too late for them to give me an emergency anti HIV drug (have to receive it within the first 72 hours). I was about 8 hours too late. I finally told my friend and she took me to the hospital. It took me 3 months to report it to the police and the female police offer insisted it was consensual. The Inspector was a very old guy and very kind but I dropped the case because I could see how everyone was blaming me. It was suggested i enter the witness protection program and I received a letter from them saying there wasn't enough medical evidence. My doctor had all medical records sent including photos of my arms being burned with cigarettes and strangulation marks on my neck. I wrote the Witness Protection Program in Sacramento, CA and told them I didn't need it but what women need (and men too) is for people to believe them. That is why SO MANY RAPE CRIMES are not reported and when they are - the finger is pointed to the victims. It's been 8 years (president day weekend) and I can't remember the rape - I can't remember anything except I know I am forever changed by this experience. Tell your friends and family to never accept drinks from strangers - at parties, at bars, at BBQs etc. Thanks.
I was drugged July 3rd downtown. i was with three girls and believe it was meant for one of them. i tend to drink a bit but i am the lovable drunk. never cause any problems or anything like that. i got dosed with a lethal amount of LSD! I had a really bad trip and jumped into the cape fear river. hit my head several times and was clinically dead for almost a minute. I have a very high tolerance and truly believe that it would have killed one of the females. This has to stop!!!!
I am a male that was druged and I know it was with the intention to kill so its not just females anymore this has to stop I could jave died and most likely labled as a junkey drug over dose and Ive NEVER done those drugs berfore
And that other lsdy is right to have no one belive you when YOU. Know you was druged is the worst feeling any victim can get. It truely a horrible feeling. And is compounded in the victims head when you have to think about it but you know it happened. The people doing these things are cowards and scum and should be treated as a murder suspect. Cause in my case it alao took part of my mind Im not allways there that to me is can be worse what if it dont stop what if I loose my mind and don't know who I am or even my boys? if you don't know who u are ur self or anyone else is that not the same as bein dead? Maybe not to the family but if ur not there where are you?
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